[From IMDb:] In Highgate London, five young teenagers hoping to witness Pagan activity, camp in historic Queen’s Wood on Halloween but soon discover they are part of the ritual when a mysterious Biker hunts them down.
As soon as I saw the cover art for this movie, I was filled with a righteous sense of rage. Any movie that so blatantly ripped off the poster of The Craft was just setting itself up for the destruction of everyone involved in it, as far as I was concerned.
So, of course, I watched it. Because justified righteous rage is so much more fun.
I’m happy to say that there were no more attempts to emulate The Craft in the movie itself; but my feelings are a little less clear about what I’ve just experienced, otherwise…
The Coven is a bad movie. The story is illogical, and boring. The camerawork was shaky, and there were some really strange decisions going on behind the scenes, which led to the inclusion of GoPro-esque footage of the ground from a motorbike’s front wheel.
The acting is terrible – and I’m almost embarrassed to admit that I ended up Googling one of the actors to see if she was deaf, or had a developmental disability, in order to try and explain her constantly slurred speech (she isn’t/doesn’t, by the by).
As things stand, the fact that I pushed through to the end of the movie had more to do with sheer will of force – or, to put it another way, it had more to do with me being bloody stubborn – than anything about the movie itself, which seemed to do its very best to repel me.
I do find myself wondering though, if – in different circumstances (i.e. if I weren’t still sick, and if I maybe had some cold alcoholic beverages…) – I could’ve found myself enjoying how bad this movie is. Because I definitely feel like it has some ‘so bad it’s good’ potential; some elements that could make for a great popcorn and drinking games type of experience.
As horrifying as the thought is right now, I think I might find myself revisiting this movie at a later date to test this theory out.