Day #225: Valentine (2001)

Synopsis:

[From IMDb:] Five women are stalked by an unknown assailant while preparing for Valentine’s Day.

My take:

I feel like Valentine is basically the movie where some TV stars’ movie careers went to die*, while some horror movie perennials…continued to do exactly what they’ve always done.

Everything about the movie is just so meh. It feels more like a relationship drama than a horror/slasher – and not even a particularly good one. There’s no drama, no tension, no comedy…nothing except some exceptionally boring dialogue between some uninteresting characters, and one of the most obvious killers in a long time.

At the time it came out I assumed that David Boreanaz was desperate to break into the movie scene (although IMDb now tells me he was in a few things before this, so whaddaya know); but now I wonder if Jessica Capshaw was the most obvious example of that, because I can’t think of another reason why she’d agree to play the ‘insecure former fat girl’ of the cast. Either way, they were both worth more than this movie.

What makes it all even worse though, is that this was clearly a movie written like a teenage slasher, despite being populated with characters who are at least in their mid-20’s. Even as someone who doesn’t think that aging necessarily equals maturing, the disconnect between these characters and the tone of the movie is just jarring.

The only character in this movie worth a damn was played by Hedy Burress, who at least seemed to be having some fun with the jilted bitchiness of her character. Everyone else was just way too boring.

Say what you will about teen slasher movies, but if this is what non-teen slasher movies are like…I know what I’d stick with.

* Except for Katherine Heigl, who has clearly done some serious animal sacrifice kind of shit to get herself an ongoing career

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Day #225: Valentine (2001)

  1. LOL @ the comment about Katherine Heigl….

    I am not sure why, but I have always liked this movie since it came out… I… can’t explain it… maybe it’s because I think David Boreanaz is hot… or maybe because I like seeing mean girls get butchered in the end… lol…

    Great read 🙂 I may need to re-watch this and see if I still share my old opinions… I have not seen it in about 5 years…

    Like

    • maybe it’s because I think David Boreanaz is hot

      Aka the reason half of the audience was there in the first place (myself included), while Denise Richards probably accounted for the other 50%. 😛

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s