I don’t…I don’t understand what just happened.
There were some people, right? And they got sick, maybe because of chemicals or aliens, or evil, but they were also being experimented on? And, as a result of this…something…they got psychic powers, and started killing a bunch of people for…reasons…some of which seem to serve a purpose (that’s never properly explained, as far as I can tell), but most of which seem to be simply because everyone in this supposedly idyllic town (where everyone constantly drives around, even though everything’s meant to be within walking distance) is fucking crazy, apparently.
The acting of the fifty people (give or take a few) in the main cast is uniformly bad, but I don’t know if that’s their fault or if they’re just as confused by what’s going on as I was. No one’s character is ever really clearly defined; they’re just a bunch of people running around with vague descriptive labels occasionally attached to them, who have a habit of delivering page upon page of exposition for no discernible reason at crucial moments in what, in any mother movie, might be considered “the plot”.
Some of the deaths are cool enough (if horribly executed) that, some day, I might be able to recognise this for the wonderfully bad, begging-for-a-drinking-game movie that it truly is, but for now I think I just need an adult.