Day #131: Chastity Bites (2013)

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Chastity Bites (2013) IMDB

Synopsis:

Liz Batho (Louise Griffiths) comes to San Griento High to start the Virginity Action Group (V.A.G.), causing aspiring journalist Leah (Allison Scagliotti) to fear for her her best friend Katharine’s (Francia Raisa) safety. Because, as Leah will soon uncover, Liz has her own reasons for wanting these young girls to remain virgins.

My take:

Chastity Bites is a silly, silly horror comedy. This is a fact that needs to be recognised and embraced if you expect to walk away from it with anything but a desire to reclaim your lost time.

If you can accept this though, well, you might just find that you have a couple of laughs along the way, even if those laughs are the ‘that was so bad it’s funny’ kind.

As far as the cast is concerned, Griffiths is really the only stand-out of the lot. As Batho, she brings a raw sensuality to the screen that is truly captivating, and her Dita von Teese-esque styling suits her amazingly well. In contrast, Scagliotti and Raisa are fine in their roles, but seem to lack the comedy chops required to play the sarcastic tone that the script seems to be aiming for.

Amy Okuda also receives a mention purely because she seemed to be playing her character from The Guild – and who doesn’t want more Tink in their lives? I mean, other than Amy Okuda.

The plot of Charity Bites is a bit scatterbrained (as are many of its characters), and the attempts at comedy can be a bit overbearing at times, but, eh, it’s not the least entertaining movie I’ve seen.

There was also something about it that kept making me think of But I’m a Cheerleader. I don’t know if it was the tone, or the amateurish quality, but anything that makes me think I should go back and watch that gem of a movie has gotta be a-okay in my books. Even if it is a silly, silly horror comedy.

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