Day #67: Under the Bed (2012)

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Under the Bed (2012) IMDB

Synopsis:

Two brothers fight off a creature living under their beds, two years after it caused the death of their mother.

My take:

Is it unfair that I knew this was going to be a clunker of a movie as soon as I saw Musetta Vander? It feels a little unfair. But it wasn’t exactly unfounded.

Although, honestly, the core elements of a decent movie were actually all there. The concept was clear, the plot mostly worked, the physical special effects weren’t all that bad (except that I’m pretty sure the monster was wearing pants at the end of the movie?!), and, while they weren’t all that effective, there was at least some effort put into having some scary moments. All of these things could have, if done properly, equaled a good, if not exactly inventive, horror movie.

There were two major problems for me, though.

Jonny Weston and Peter Holden were absolutely terrible in their roles. Both of them completely missed the mark, so that we had an older brother who seemed like he was on drugs, and a father who was just an abusive arsehole. When Musetta Vander manages a comparatively nuanced performance, you know that there’s something wrong.

Continuing the theme of “things that are over the top,” the soundtrack did an impressive job of destroying every scene that it touched. It was just overly dramatic, which had the effect of further blowing out the emotional tone of the movie. Even if just the soundtrack were improved, I think Under the Bed would have been vastly more tolerable.

Oh – and there was one other thing that really bugged me: Jonny Weston’s hair. It was so gross and crusty looking, that I could practically smell him every time I could see it. Was he boycotting showering while shooting this movie? Ugh.

Like I said, with a few changes, Under the Bed could have been an okay movie. Unfortunately, as is, it’s just a tone deaf mess.

What's under this hood is the real monster of this movie.

What’s under this hood is the real monster of this movie.

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